Its been three months. I still think about him every day. I've told myself that i don't need him. that i can do better. that i can live.
But i don't believe myself.
I feel almost abused. As if he just wants to string me along just in case his current girl ends in heartbreak. He knows i'll be there to pick up the pieces. That's just wrong. i've asked him multiple times to cut all ties with me but he refuses. i wouldn't be suprised if he's kept every picture i've drawn for him.
I cried myself to sleep last night. Thinking about how i about left this earth for him three times. three. How i've hurt everyone i care about for him. How i must be such a disappointment. How i'm not worth it. How i am lonely. How i don't deserve love.
Diary, it feels like you're the only one i can trust. He's taken that ability away from me. Trust is a foreign idea to me.
I can't live like this anymore.