What is lonliness? When you feel far away? When you hate to see the day? When you can't sleep at night? When you give up the fight? When your heart cries out for help? When nothing is felt? When you feel dazed? When you wish you were crazed? When your mind is always blank? When all your hopes have sank? When you want to cry? When all you want to do is die? What is lonliness? |
Author's Comments
no comment except: This sucks.
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Comments
It's simple, yeah, but your message is clear and a majority of the selected rhymes work very well. The last stanza (the four lines before the final line) is particularly well-composed. Overall, it's rough around the edges, but it has that poetic drive. It was a good read.
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Life is like a zombie attack: escape is never an option.
and yeah. The flow was really hard on this.Thats why I don't particularly like it.
but thanks.
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When I dance, I headbang.
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Death to the girl at the end of the Serenade!!!
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Life is like a zombie attack: escape is never an option.
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